Oh my god. I could never have suspected what I was letting myself in for when I chose this for a quick thrills read. Erotic is what is billed, but it hovers somewhere between horrific and hilarious.

It opens with a three-titted stripper fudding herself to the thought of a small business loan. This story is a belter. It’s like someone was tried to write the least erotic short story they could imagine and submitted it for publication on a bet. “They’ll never publish it Davey!” “Aye they will.” The stripper’s man is described in the most repulsive terms possible, unpleasant to the eye, ear and nose. He’s shit in bed. He doesn’t clean his dick. He doesn’t wipe his arse after a shite. The joy of audiobook was I was treated to the sound effect his giant plopping shite going in the pan – SPLOOSH! Nothing more erotic than hearing a dirty auld bastard crank one out in the shiter.

The rest of the stories are less ridiculous than that one, but most focus on brutality and revenge, which I’m all for, but not when I’m trying to get my wide-on. They’re mostly power fantasies with no erotic element. By that I mean, sex is participated in purely to further desire for something else. The participants are usually getting off on the power or the dominance, but rarely interested in the actual sex. It’s difficult to make a story sexy if none of your characters feel particularly sexy and are dreaming about what they’re gonna buy with their money while their junk’s getting rummaged.

One story was kinda sexy, a cuckold fantasy in which a guy fucks his boss’s wife. That, mostly due to better writing, was at least about the eroticism overpowering the pre-set powerplay going on.

Not erotic but still entertaining.